Somehow this topic came up with The Nick and I during lunch. Phones are these intrusive devices that ring or make other obnoxious noises at what is becoming more and more intrusive times and frequencies. Yes, cell phones have that quality (with most non-geeks), but landline phones fit there too. Lets say there you are in the middle of a conversation with someone, and the person's phone rings. There are basically two types of reactions for them.
Granted there are always exceptions. One being that you are working, your job is to answer the phone, and the conversation is not work related. In most other situations, why the heck do people answer the phone? In my opinion that's effectively like saying the person on the phone, whose identity may or may not be known, is more important than the person to whom you are talking in person. Same thing with call waiting. This is one of the primary reasons behind voicemail - the person can leave a message and you can get back to them as soon as your current conversation is done.
Similar with businesses. How often have you been in a store where a customer is getting help from someone when the phone rings, and the person immediately answers the phone and makes the customer wait. Since when did that become acceptable? If another customer walked up and asked for assistance would you expect the first customer to wait then?
You may have noticed I mentioned non-geeks specifically earlier in relation to cell phones, and there seems to be some sort of distinction here. It seems that the more geeky people tend to have their phone on silent/vibrate or a quiet normal ring, and if it rings while others are around silence it and ignore within a ring or two. The less geeky people on the other hand tend to have loud and non-standard ring, leave the phone places where they are not but others are, and let it either ring the entire time until it goes to voicemail or interrupt the in-person conversation to take the call.
Before someone comes back with a comment about phone tag, there's a reason that you can record your voice rather than just punch in your number (although that's often an option). You're supposed to say what you want (note that doesn't mean a 10 minute message rambling). I get calls all the time from people about some form of technology not working. Most of them end up with the caller leaving a 30 second voicemail saying why they called. Then I leave them a 30 second reply saying what to do to fix it. Then I get a reply of "Thanks, that worked". Ever wonder why voicemail systems have an answer option? Yep, that's it. I've noticed it's younger people rather than older who have a hard time figuring out that whole concept. They sit there and try to figure out how to ask the question once they finally get a hold of the person they have been trying to reach. Have we as a society become so ADD-like that we can't figure out what we want without prompting from someone else. While those who work at a Help Desk will probably say no and say it's because they don't understand, people don't just do it with tech stuff.
In case you haven't guessed, I'm firmly in the in-person is more important than the caller group. I have people talking to me in my office stop mid sentence and say "aren't you gonna answer that" and then have their jaw practically hit the floor when I say "no, you were talking -- that'd be interrupting you." I consider it common courtesy not to interrupt someone. Enough of my thoughts for now though. What do you think about this subject?
I agree. Talking in-person with someone is much more gratifying than talking over the phone or an instant messenger. It makes sense then that I should give the importance to those next to me rather than those remote. The phone was invented to be a convenience. If it isn't that, then we should rethink the way we're using it. However, I'm pretty sure I don't do that in practi... Oh, wait, I've got a call coming in...
... sorry about that, it's me again. Old friends from high school, you know! I would like to say that I give those next to me the proper attention that they deserve. I guess just something to think about the next time the phone goes off.
I think you hit this one right on the nose. We should focus on the person that we are having a face-to-face conversation with rather than try to answer a phone in mid conversation. The person calling can usually, if not always, leave a message so that we can get back to them when we're available.
Yea, I'd never encourage people leaving long voicemails. Although that's why most systems these days allow you to change the playback speed of the message dynamically.
One of my roommates has a pager and I think that tops cell-phones. When someone wants to get a hold of him they call his pager, leave their number, and he calls them back when it is conveniant for him. The only draw back is there is no VM, but I would rather people not expect me to pick up the phone.
I'm notorious for not answering my cell-phone. I almost always have it on silient and buried in my baggy pockets so I miss the vibrate. I just tell people to email me. I would consider myself one of the hardest people to track down. If you do it right people stop trying to contact you altogether...
Copyright ©2000-2008 Jeremy Mooney (jeremy-at-qux-dot-net)
Don't encourage my mother. She leaves enough VMs as it is.
When I was living in the dorms she figured out the "6060" trick and would leave messages while I was asleep. She'd often need to call back and continue her message as it timed out on her first attempt. I've now given her a 30 second time limit. If she doesn't get it said in the first 30 seconds, doesn't matter, I'm just gonna delete it. I'm cruel, but also hate long VMs. One question/inquiry per VM, please. Anything more requires an actual conversation.